Chrissy Teigen has broken her month-long silence after she was called out for a history of online bullying. In her first social media post since May 12, she condemned her old behavior and issued a lengthy apology to both those she has hurt and her fans who look up to her. 

Commonly referred to as the “Mayor of Twitter,” Teigen is known for realness and relatability online. However, last month, old tweets resurfaced showing the model harassing former reality star Courtney Stodden, who claimed Teigen “would privately DM me and tell me to kill myself.” 

Immediately following the controversy, Teigen issued a brief apology before going silent on social media — but now she has issued a new statement in which she takes full accountability of her past actions. “I was a troll, full stop. And I am so sorry,” she wrote in an Instagram post that was shared on Monday, June 14. 

In the post, Teigen acknowledged that her attention-seeking behavior was cruel, and the “deserved global punishment” she’s been receiving has forced her to reflect on her past. “It has been a VERY humbling few weeks,” she wrote. 

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“I know I’ve been quiet, and lord knows you don’t want to hear about me, but I want you to know I’ve been sitting in a hole of deserved global punishment, the ultimate ‘sit here and think about what you’ve done,’” she continued. “Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven’t felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I’ve said in the past.”

Teigen went on to acknowledge the harm that she has caused others while giving her followers an explanation — though not an excuse — for her behavior, claiming she was “insecure” online because she thought she “needed to impress strangers to be accepted.” 

“If there was a pop culture pile-on, I took to Twitter to try to gain attention and show off what I at the time believed was a crude, clever, harmless quip. I thought it made me cool and relatable if I poked fun at celebrities,” Teigen wrote. “Now, confronted with some of the things that I said, I cringe to my core.”

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She went on to make it clear that there is no excuse for this type of behavior, adding that she is not seeking sympathy by sharing her account. “There’s no justification for my behavior. I’m not a victim here. The subjects of your sympathy — and mine — should be those I put down.” 

“I wasn’t just attacking some random avatar, but hurting young women — some who were still girls — who had feelings. How could I not stop and think of that?” she added. 

Teigen, who has been the online target of trolls herself, explained that life has made her more empathetic. “The truth is, I’m no longer the person who wrote those horrible things. I grew up, got therapy, got married, had kids, got more therapy, experienced loss and pain, got more therapy and experienced more life,” she said. 

“I’m more understanding of what motivates trolling — the instant gratification that you get from lashing out and clapping back, throwing rocks at someone you think is invincible because they’re famous,” she continued. “Also, I know now how it feels to be on the receiving end of incredible vitriol. Believe me, the irony of this is not lost on me.” 

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Teigen finished her post by promising her followers that she will do better in the future and noting that she’s in the process of privately apologizing to other people she has insulted on social media. “I’ve been on a path of self-improvement for the past decade and that path is going to continue,” she wrote.

“I won’t ask for your forgiveness, only your patience and tolerance. I ask that you allow me, as I promise to allow you, to own past mistakes and be given the opportunity to seek self-improvement and change,” she concluded.

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