Britney Spears addressed the court earlier this week over the conservatorship that has controlled her life for the past 13 years. Her explosive testimony, which was public, confirmed what many fans in the #FreeBritney movement have believed all along: The popstar has been unhappy under the guardianship of her father and the team overseeing her financial and personal affairs.
“I’ve been in denial. I’ve been in shock. I am traumatized. You know, fake it till you make it,” she testified, per Variety transcripts. “But now I’m telling you the truth, OK? I’m not happy. I can’t sleep. I’m so angry it’s insane. And I’m depressed. I cry every day.” She claimed that she was forced to take Lithium, wasn’t allowed to see her kids or boyfriend unless she met work obligations, had no right to privacy in her own home, and was denied a doctor’s visit to have her IUD removed.
Following her shocking testimony, Spears took to Instagram to apologize to fans for “pretending like I’ve been OK the past two years.” In a lengthy message posted on Thursday, she explained why her blithe social media presence hasn’t reflected the unhappiness she detailed in court, revealing that she was embarrassed to share what happened to her with the world.
“I believe as people we all want the fairy tale life and by the way I’ve posted … my life seems to look and be pretty amazing … I think that’s what we all strive for !!!! That was one of my mother’s best traits … no matter how shitty a day was when I was younger … for the sake of me and my siblings she always pretended like everything was ok,” she wrote.
Spears continued: “I’m bringing this to people’s attention because I don’t want people to think my life is perfect because IT’S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL … and if you have read anything about me in the news this week ? … you obviously really know now it’s not !!!!”
She went on to apologize to fans for misleading them by pretending her life was “perfect,” explaining that she just wanted to capture her Instagram in a fun light. The platform, where she regularly posts fun photos and videos of herself dancing in her home, has served as an escape from what she was going through.
“Believe it or not, pretending that I’m ok has actually helped … so I decided to post this quote today because by golly if you’re going through hell … I feel like Instagram has helped me have a cool outlet to share my presence … existence … and to simply feel like I matter despite what I was going through and hey it worked,” Spears wrote.
Her social media presence has seemed a bit bizarre at times, and it has definitely been the source of speculation over the years, with many #FreeBritney fans pointing out so-called hidden messages behind the posts. Other conspiracy theories have claimed that, like other areas of her life, Spears has had no control of her posts and was actually reading from scripts.
However, in February, the singer’s social media manager, Cassie Petrey, shut down those rumors. “There are a lot of theories out there about how Britney Spears’ social media operates,” she wrote on Instagram. “Britney creates her own posts and writes her own captions for Instagram… Nobody is suggesting any of that stuff to her.”
Addressing the conspiracy theories directly, Petrey asserted: “She has stated many times that she creates the posts, but people continue to believe conspiracy theories over what Britney says over and over again. Britney is not ‘asking for help’ or leaving secret messages in her social media. She is literally just living her life and trying to have fun on Instagram.”
Since testifying in court, Spears has received an overwhelming amount of support from fans and fellow celebrities. “You are a brave legend, more iconic than any fairy tale character could ever be! Go on, Queen!!! We’re behind you all the way!” music director Benjamin Rauhala commented on her Instagram post.
As for what happens next, only time will tell. Legal experts say that wanting out of a court-appointed conservatorship is much easier said than done. “Everybody thinks that you simply walk into court with your case and the judge is going to hear me and the judge is going to understand that what I want is what is right, and they’re going to give that to me. And it simply doesn’t work that way,” Scott Rahn, an attorney with expertise in trusts and conservatorships, explained in an earlier interview.
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